Variety in Sentence Beginnings
When revising your writing, take the time to read it aloud. Effective writing should have a natural, alternating rhythm that helps pull the reader from sentence to sentence. You can achieve this rhythm by varying your sentences. Passages that have too little sentence variety should be revised. Pay particular attention to sentence beginnings. When all your sentences begin the same way, the result is monotony. Consider the following two paragraphs and the beginnings of the sentences.
He was puzzled by the reaction of the crowd. He had tried to say something that would win their approval. He was met with shouts of anger. He could not understand why they were hostile. He finally decided that it would not have mattered what he said.
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Leaving the road, we plunged into the brush. Coming to a creek, we waded across, Fighting our way through a tangle of vines, we finally reached a path. Turning left, we climbed steadily uphill for an hour. Reaching a misty plateau, we spotted the old man's cabin.
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The first paragraph is monotonous because each sentence begins the same way - with the word he. The second paragraph is monotonous because each sentence begins with a participial phrase. See how the second passage can be revised to avoid repetition. Three sentence beginnings have been changed.
Leaving the road, we plunged into the brush. When we came to the creek, we waded across. We fought our way through a tangle of vines and finally came to the path. Turning left, we climbed steadily uphill for an hour. As we reached a misty plateau, we spotted the old man's cabin.
Notice that two of the sentences in this revision were not changed. Remember that not every sentence must be changed to achieve variety. When you revise your writing, try to develop a pleasant, balanced rhythm. Let your ear guide you in determining when a passage has become repetitious and ineffective. If a passage sounds awkward or dry, you should rewrite it.
You can put variety in your sentences by keeping in mind the different ways sentences may begin. Try some of the suggestions listed here.
Leaving the road, we plunged into the brush. When we came to the creek, we waded across. We fought our way through a tangle of vines and finally came to the path. Turning left, we climbed steadily uphill for an hour. As we reached a misty plateau, we spotted the old man's cabin.
Notice that two of the sentences in this revision were not changed. Remember that not every sentence must be changed to achieve variety. When you revise your writing, try to develop a pleasant, balanced rhythm. Let your ear guide you in determining when a passage has become repetitious and ineffective. If a passage sounds awkward or dry, you should rewrite it.
You can put variety in your sentences by keeping in mind the different ways sentences may begin. Try some of the suggestions listed here.
Strategies for Varying Sentence Beginnings
Begin with a subject and verb.
- Jill worked conscientiously at the job until evening.
- Conscientiously, Jill worked at the job until evening.
- Until evening, Jill worked conscientiously at the job.
- Working conscientiously, Jill stayed at the job until evening.
- A model employee, Jill worked conscientiously at the job until evening.
- To finish the job, Jill worked conscientiously at it until evening.
- Since Jill was determined to finish, she worked conscientiously at the job until evening.
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Variety in Sentence Structure
By varying sentence structure, you can keep your writing interesting. A string of similar sentences produces a regular, tedious rhythm. Notice how the overuse of compound sentences in the passage below produces a monotonous, singsong sound.
The storm arose without warning, and waves started to bounce our boat around. Herb pulled in the anchor, and I reeled in our lines. It was impossible to get back to our dock, so Herb steered for the point. The wind was behind us, or we would never have made it. We got fairly
close, and then we jumped into the water and pulled the boat ashore.
To change a monotonous string of compound sentences to a series of sentences with more variety, consider using the these strategies:
Compound sentence: We were delayed by a flat tire, and we missed the first touchdown.
Create a compound predicate.
Create a participle phrase.
Create a subordinate clause
When you revise a compound sentence and use a subordinate clause or phrase, think carefully about which idea should be subordinated and which one should remain in the independent clause.
The storm arose without warning, and waves started to bounce our boat around. Herb pulled in the anchor, and I reeled in our lines. It was impossible to get back to our dock, so Herb steered for the point. The wind was behind us, or we would never have made it. We got fairly
close, and then we jumped into the water and pulled the boat ashore.
To change a monotonous string of compound sentences to a series of sentences with more variety, consider using the these strategies:
Compound sentence: We were delayed by a flat tire, and we missed the first touchdown.
Create a compound predicate.
- We were delayed by a flat tire and missed the first touchdown.
Create a participle phrase.
- Delayed by a flat tire, we missed the first touchdown.
Create a subordinate clause
- Because we were delayed by a flat tire, we missed the first touchdown.
When you revise a compound sentence and use a subordinate clause or phrase, think carefully about which idea should be subordinated and which one should remain in the independent clause.
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Variety in Sentence Length
Using variety in sentence length makes for powerful writing. Notice how Ernest Hemingway varied the length of his sentences in the following paragraph. His mix of long and short sentences produces a passage with a natural rhythm and an interesting beat.
He walked along the road feeling the ache from the pull of the heavy pack. The road climbed steadily. It was hard work walking uphill. His muscles ached and the day was hot, but Nick felt happy. He felt he had left everything behind, the need for thinking, the need to write, other needs.
The paragraph above demonstrates a powerful, natural rhythm. Its impact is due largely to sentence variety -- in this case, sentences of different lengths. Variety in sentence length creates interest.
Sometimes writers deliberately use a series of short sentences, a device that can be especially effective in building suspense or emphasizing action. However, the unintentional use of short sentences often produces the opposite effect -- dullness. When you detect this problem, you can easily combine some of the short sentences in a passage by using the strategies listed below.
He walked along the road feeling the ache from the pull of the heavy pack. The road climbed steadily. It was hard work walking uphill. His muscles ached and the day was hot, but Nick felt happy. He felt he had left everything behind, the need for thinking, the need to write, other needs.
The paragraph above demonstrates a powerful, natural rhythm. Its impact is due largely to sentence variety -- in this case, sentences of different lengths. Variety in sentence length creates interest.
Sometimes writers deliberately use a series of short sentences, a device that can be especially effective in building suspense or emphasizing action. However, the unintentional use of short sentences often produces the opposite effect -- dullness. When you detect this problem, you can easily combine some of the short sentences in a passage by using the strategies listed below.
Strategies for Varying Sentence Length
Use a single-word modifier.
Quietly, we walked into the hall. It was dark.
Use a prepositional phrase.
The concert will take place at the County Center Auditorium. The date is February 10.
Use a participial phrase.
The Van Allen belts are two fields of charged particles.They extend 600 miles to 15,500 miles above the earth.
Use an appositive.
Susan Stein won first prize in the state competition. She is a violin soloist in our orchestra.
Use a compound sentence.
The plane stopped in Okinawa for repairs. We landed in Tokyo three hours late.
Use a simple sentence with a compound predicate.
I stained the cabinet. Then I coated it with shellac.
Use a subordinate clause.
Jeff sprained his ankle. He was practicing the javelin throw.
Quietly, we walked into the hall. It was dark.
- Quietly, we walked into the dark hall.
Use a prepositional phrase.
The concert will take place at the County Center Auditorium. The date is February 10.
- The concert will take place at the County Center Auditorium on February 10.
Use a participial phrase.
The Van Allen belts are two fields of charged particles.They extend 600 miles to 15,500 miles above the earth.
- The Van Allen belts are two fields of charged particles extending 600 miles to 15,500 miles above the earth.
Use an appositive.
Susan Stein won first prize in the state competition. She is a violin soloist in our orchestra.
- Susan Stein, a violin soloist in our orchestra, won first prize in the state competition.
Use a compound sentence.
The plane stopped in Okinawa for repairs. We landed in Tokyo three hours late.
- The plane stopped in Okinawa for repairs, so we landed in Tokyo three hours late.
Use a simple sentence with a compound predicate.
I stained the cabinet. Then I coated it with shellac.
- I stained the cabinet and coated it with shellac.
Use a subordinate clause.
Jeff sprained his ankle. He was practicing the javelin throw.
- Jeff sprained his ankle while he was practicing the javelin throw.
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