Placing Modifiers Correctly
Positioning modifiers correctly will help to make your writing clear. A modifier placed incorrectly can cause confusion for the reader and even occasionally produce humorous results.
Misplaced Modifiers
Modifiers should be positioned as close as possible to the words they modify. As a rule, place single adjectives just before the words they modify. Place adjective phrases (prepositional) and clauses just after the words they modify.
The yellow pepper with the elongated body is not hot.
Do not place a modifier between two words so that it may modify either.
Confusing Exercising often relaxes Ted.
Revised Often, exercising relaxes Ted.
Although many adverb modifiers can be moved from one place to another in a sentence without changing the meaning of the sentence, some cannot. Place adverb modifiers where they will express your meaning exactly.
Confusing The Anglo-Saxons were forced to learn French slowly.
Revised The Anglo-Saxons were slowly forced to learn French.
Confusing All the sweaters cannot fit in this drawer.
Revised Not all the sweaters can fit in this drawer.
A misplaced prepositional or participial phrase may appear to modify the wrong word and confuse the reader.
Confusing We brought in chairs for the guests with soft seats.
Revised We brought in chairs with soft seats for the guests.
Confusing I saw some ring-necked ducks eating my lunch at the lagoon.
Revised Eating my lunch, I saw some ring-necked ducks at the lagoon.
Dangling Modifiers
Often, a sentence may begin with a participle, an infinitive, or an elliptical phrase -- a clause in which words have been left out. When one of these constructions is placed next to a word or phrase that it cannot logically modify, the result is a dangling modifier. To correct a dangling participle, supply a word that it can modify sensibly, or convert the phrase into a clause by changing the participle into a main verb and giving it a subject.
Confusing Moving the curio cabinet, the figurine fell. (This says that the figurine moved the curio cabinet.)
Revised When we moved the curio cabinet, the figurine fell.
To correct a dangling infinitive, supply a word for the phrase to modify sensibly.
Confusing To eat at the restaurant, a tie must be worn. (There is no noun for the infinitive to modify)
Revised To eat at the restaurant, men must wear ties.
To correct dangling elliptical clauses, supply the omitted words.
Confusing When brown, remove the chicken from the pan.
Revised When the chicken is brown, remove it from the pan.
Misplaced Modifiers
Modifiers should be positioned as close as possible to the words they modify. As a rule, place single adjectives just before the words they modify. Place adjective phrases (prepositional) and clauses just after the words they modify.
The yellow pepper with the elongated body is not hot.
Do not place a modifier between two words so that it may modify either.
Confusing Exercising often relaxes Ted.
Revised Often, exercising relaxes Ted.
Although many adverb modifiers can be moved from one place to another in a sentence without changing the meaning of the sentence, some cannot. Place adverb modifiers where they will express your meaning exactly.
Confusing The Anglo-Saxons were forced to learn French slowly.
Revised The Anglo-Saxons were slowly forced to learn French.
Confusing All the sweaters cannot fit in this drawer.
Revised Not all the sweaters can fit in this drawer.
A misplaced prepositional or participial phrase may appear to modify the wrong word and confuse the reader.
Confusing We brought in chairs for the guests with soft seats.
Revised We brought in chairs with soft seats for the guests.
Confusing I saw some ring-necked ducks eating my lunch at the lagoon.
Revised Eating my lunch, I saw some ring-necked ducks at the lagoon.
Dangling Modifiers
Often, a sentence may begin with a participle, an infinitive, or an elliptical phrase -- a clause in which words have been left out. When one of these constructions is placed next to a word or phrase that it cannot logically modify, the result is a dangling modifier. To correct a dangling participle, supply a word that it can modify sensibly, or convert the phrase into a clause by changing the participle into a main verb and giving it a subject.
Confusing Moving the curio cabinet, the figurine fell. (This says that the figurine moved the curio cabinet.)
Revised When we moved the curio cabinet, the figurine fell.
To correct a dangling infinitive, supply a word for the phrase to modify sensibly.
Confusing To eat at the restaurant, a tie must be worn. (There is no noun for the infinitive to modify)
Revised To eat at the restaurant, men must wear ties.
To correct dangling elliptical clauses, supply the omitted words.
Confusing When brown, remove the chicken from the pan.
Revised When the chicken is brown, remove it from the pan.
Keeping Related Sentence Parts Together
An important element of writing style is clarity. There is only one way to achieve clarity in writing: by keeping related sentence parts together. Readers expect a verb to be closely tied to the subject, and a complement - if there is one - to follow the verb. Similarly, they expect to find the parts of a verb phrase together. Whenever you separate these sentence parts, you risk confusing your reader.
Awkward The fog, after hugging the ground all day, lifted. (subject and verb separated.
Revised After hugging the ground all day, the fog lifted.
Awkward The curator had never in the twenty years of his career, seen more intricately carved jade. (parts of the verb phrase
separated)
Revised The curator had never seen more intricately carved jade in the twenty years of his career.
Awkward You have had, whether you know it or not, your last chance. (verb and object separated)
Revised Whether you know it or not, you have had your last chance.
Awkward The fog, after hugging the ground all day, lifted. (subject and verb separated.
Revised After hugging the ground all day, the fog lifted.
Awkward The curator had never in the twenty years of his career, seen more intricately carved jade. (parts of the verb phrase
separated)
Revised The curator had never seen more intricately carved jade in the twenty years of his career.
Awkward You have had, whether you know it or not, your last chance. (verb and object separated)
Revised Whether you know it or not, you have had your last chance.
Subordinating Ideas Correctly
A sentence is clear when the reader can see how the ideas in the sentence are connected. Subordination is one way to show how ideas in a sentence are related.
The main or independent clause, the basic structure in any sentence, states the main idea of the sentence. Modifying clauses and phrases add details that explain, define, or limit the meaning of the main clause. Writing that uses only main clauses is not effective because it tells the reader that all ideas are of the same value. A lesser idea should be subordinated to the main clause in the form of a clause or phrase.
Subordinating Using a Clause
When one idea is dependent upon another, the two ideas may be combined to reflect this dependence by turning the lesser idea into a subordinate clause. A subordinate clause can be joined to a main clause with a subordinating conjunction to form an adverb clause.
Common subordinating conjunctions include: if, as long as, after, when, or because.
Weak We can go to the concert. The tickets aren't sold out.
Revised We can go to the concert if the tickets aren't sold out.
Subordinating Using a Phrase
Relationships between ideas may also be more clearly established by recasting an idea as a participial phrase, an infinitive phrase, or an appositive.
Weak Sir Walter Raleigh went to his death. He proclaimed his innocence.
Revised Sir Walter Raleigh went to his death proclaiming his innocence.
Weak The farmers picked peanuts all night. They wanted to keep the crop from spoiling.
Revised The farmers picked peanuts all night to keep the crop from spoiling.
As a rule, an idea that can be subordinated by creating an appositive may also be structured as an adjective clause. You as the writer may choose the structure you feel is more effective and adds variety to your writing. Such choices contribute to the formation of your own writing style.
Weak Mr. Mack is our counselor. He served in the Navy.
Revised Mr. Mack, our counselor, served in the Navy.
Revised Mr. Mack, who is our counselor, served in the Navy.
Upside-Down Subordination
Placing an important idea in a subordinate clause or phrase gives the wrong emphasis to the phrase of clause.
Faulty The sailboat capsized, nearing drowning the crew. (the near drowning of the crew is more important.)
Revised The crew nearly drowned when the boat capsized.
Faulty Sarah was standing at the corner when a cyclist knocked her down.
Revised Sarah was knocked down by a cyclist as she was standing at the corner.
The main or independent clause, the basic structure in any sentence, states the main idea of the sentence. Modifying clauses and phrases add details that explain, define, or limit the meaning of the main clause. Writing that uses only main clauses is not effective because it tells the reader that all ideas are of the same value. A lesser idea should be subordinated to the main clause in the form of a clause or phrase.
Subordinating Using a Clause
When one idea is dependent upon another, the two ideas may be combined to reflect this dependence by turning the lesser idea into a subordinate clause. A subordinate clause can be joined to a main clause with a subordinating conjunction to form an adverb clause.
Common subordinating conjunctions include: if, as long as, after, when, or because.
Weak We can go to the concert. The tickets aren't sold out.
Revised We can go to the concert if the tickets aren't sold out.
Subordinating Using a Phrase
Relationships between ideas may also be more clearly established by recasting an idea as a participial phrase, an infinitive phrase, or an appositive.
Weak Sir Walter Raleigh went to his death. He proclaimed his innocence.
Revised Sir Walter Raleigh went to his death proclaiming his innocence.
Weak The farmers picked peanuts all night. They wanted to keep the crop from spoiling.
Revised The farmers picked peanuts all night to keep the crop from spoiling.
As a rule, an idea that can be subordinated by creating an appositive may also be structured as an adjective clause. You as the writer may choose the structure you feel is more effective and adds variety to your writing. Such choices contribute to the formation of your own writing style.
Weak Mr. Mack is our counselor. He served in the Navy.
Revised Mr. Mack, our counselor, served in the Navy.
Revised Mr. Mack, who is our counselor, served in the Navy.
Upside-Down Subordination
Placing an important idea in a subordinate clause or phrase gives the wrong emphasis to the phrase of clause.
Faulty The sailboat capsized, nearing drowning the crew. (the near drowning of the crew is more important.)
Revised The crew nearly drowned when the boat capsized.
Faulty Sarah was standing at the corner when a cyclist knocked her down.
Revised Sarah was knocked down by a cyclist as she was standing at the corner.
Avoiding Faulty Coordination
As you have learned, when you use coordination to join phrases or clauses, you are indicating to a reader that the ideas are of equal importance. Faulty coordination occurs if unrelated ideas or ideas of unequal importance are joined as if they were equal. Faulty coordination may also occur is the writer has accidentally omitted something essential to the sense of the sentence.
If two ideas of unequal importance are joined in a sentence, use one of the methods you've learned to subordinate the lesser idea.
Faulty Bats frighten me, and I know they are harmless.
Improved Bats frighten me, although I know they are harmless.
If faulty coordination is caused by information having been accidentally omitted, break the ideas into separate sentences and insert the missing information.
Faulty I took acting lessons last summer, and I'm not trying out for the play.
Improved I took acting lessons last summer, but I couldn't conquer my stage fright. I'm not trying out for the play, but I'd like to
work back stage.
Sometimes missing information needs to be added and one idea should be made subordinate to another.
Faulty Six inches of snow fell, and we were late for school.
Improved Six inches of snow fell and barricaded our car in the garage. Because we had to walk, we were late for school.
If two ideas of unequal importance are joined in a sentence, use one of the methods you've learned to subordinate the lesser idea.
Faulty Bats frighten me, and I know they are harmless.
Improved Bats frighten me, although I know they are harmless.
If faulty coordination is caused by information having been accidentally omitted, break the ideas into separate sentences and insert the missing information.
Faulty I took acting lessons last summer, and I'm not trying out for the play.
Improved I took acting lessons last summer, but I couldn't conquer my stage fright. I'm not trying out for the play, but I'd like to
work back stage.
Sometimes missing information needs to be added and one idea should be made subordinate to another.
Faulty Six inches of snow fell, and we were late for school.
Improved Six inches of snow fell and barricaded our car in the garage. Because we had to walk, we were late for school.
Revising the Weak Passive
Your choice of active or passive verb forms contributes to your writing style. The subject of an active verb performs the action, while the subject of a passive verb receives the action. Although much of your writing will require active voice verbs, certain situations call for the passive. Use the passive in the following situations:
Use passive voice in the situations discussed. However, avoid the weak passive - the use of the passive when an active verb would be more natural and direct. The weak passive often hinders clarity because the reader is unaware of who is doing what.
Weak Patrons with season tickets were led to front-row seats.
Better An usher led patrons with season tickets to front-row seats.
Weak My houseplants are not given enough attention by me.
Better I do not give my houseplants enough attention.
Weak The press conference will be carried by all the major networks.
Better All the major networks will carry the press conference.
- To express an action when the doer of the action is unknown.
- To describe an ongoing experience.
- To avoid giving a direct order or to state a rule.
Use passive voice in the situations discussed. However, avoid the weak passive - the use of the passive when an active verb would be more natural and direct. The weak passive often hinders clarity because the reader is unaware of who is doing what.
Weak Patrons with season tickets were led to front-row seats.
Better An usher led patrons with season tickets to front-row seats.
Weak My houseplants are not given enough attention by me.
Better I do not give my houseplants enough attention.
Weak The press conference will be carried by all the major networks.
Better All the major networks will carry the press conference.
Avoiding Needless Shifts
If you were watching a scene from a movie classic such as The Wizard of Oz and the lion suddenly became a kangaroo, you would be confused. Something like this occurs when a writer begins a sentence in one tense and suddenly shifts to another. Shifts in number or person, and shifts from active to passive verb forms also create unclear writing. The reader must struggle to gain understanding.
Shifts in Voice (from Active to Passive)
A sentence that starts out in one voice should usually continue in that voice. Remember that the subject of an active verb is the doer of the action, the subject of a passive verb it the receiver of the action. To change from active to passive involves a dramatic change in point of view, which may be difficult for the reader to follow.
Shift in Voice The district attorney questioned the company president, and her files were examined.
Revised The district attorney questioned the bank president and examined the president's files.
Shift in Voice The telethon volunteers telephoned all their friends, and even strangers were called.
Revised The telethon volunteers telephoned all their friends and even called strangers.
Shifts in Tense
Shifts in verb tense may confuse a reader about when an action takes place. A sentence that begins in the present tense should usually continue in that tense. A sentence that begins in the past tense should not shift to the present tense.
Confusing We are standing in the hall when the door began to open.
Revised We were standing in the hall when the door began to open.
Revised We are standing in the hall when the door begins to open.
Confusing There were two seconds left when Laura makes the basket.
Revised There were two seconds left when Laura made the basket.
Revised There are two seconds left when Laura makes the basket.
Shifts in Person
The person of a pronoun refers to whether a pronoun is first person, the person who is speaking, second person, the person spoken to, or third person, the person spoken about. When you shift the person of a pronoun in a sentence, the result can confuse the reader. For example, the indefinite pronoun one is the third person and referred to be the third-person pronoun he, she, his, her, or him. If you start a sentence with one, do not refer to it later in the sentence with the second-person pronoun you or your.
Shifts in Number
Number refers to whether a word is singular and plural. Many collective nouns, like group, class, crowd, team and so on, may be regarded as either singular or plural. As the writer, you may decide whether the word is to be singular or plural. Once you have decided, you should be sure that agreement between nouns, verbs, and pronouns consistently reflects your choice.
Confusing The club has (singular) decided that they (plural) will not elect new members this fall.
Revised The club has (singular) decided that it (singular) will not elect new members this fall.
Confusing The crowd roared its (singular) approval, and then they (plural) broke broke up the meeting.
Revised The crowd roared its (singular) approval, and then it (singular) broke up the meeting.
Revised The crowd roared their (plural) approval, and then they (plural) broke up the meeting.
Shifts in Voice (from Active to Passive)
A sentence that starts out in one voice should usually continue in that voice. Remember that the subject of an active verb is the doer of the action, the subject of a passive verb it the receiver of the action. To change from active to passive involves a dramatic change in point of view, which may be difficult for the reader to follow.
Shift in Voice The district attorney questioned the company president, and her files were examined.
Revised The district attorney questioned the bank president and examined the president's files.
Shift in Voice The telethon volunteers telephoned all their friends, and even strangers were called.
Revised The telethon volunteers telephoned all their friends and even called strangers.
Shifts in Tense
Shifts in verb tense may confuse a reader about when an action takes place. A sentence that begins in the present tense should usually continue in that tense. A sentence that begins in the past tense should not shift to the present tense.
Confusing We are standing in the hall when the door began to open.
Revised We were standing in the hall when the door began to open.
Revised We are standing in the hall when the door begins to open.
Confusing There were two seconds left when Laura makes the basket.
Revised There were two seconds left when Laura made the basket.
Revised There are two seconds left when Laura makes the basket.
Shifts in Person
The person of a pronoun refers to whether a pronoun is first person, the person who is speaking, second person, the person spoken to, or third person, the person spoken about. When you shift the person of a pronoun in a sentence, the result can confuse the reader. For example, the indefinite pronoun one is the third person and referred to be the third-person pronoun he, she, his, her, or him. If you start a sentence with one, do not refer to it later in the sentence with the second-person pronoun you or your.
Shifts in Number
Number refers to whether a word is singular and plural. Many collective nouns, like group, class, crowd, team and so on, may be regarded as either singular or plural. As the writer, you may decide whether the word is to be singular or plural. Once you have decided, you should be sure that agreement between nouns, verbs, and pronouns consistently reflects your choice.
Confusing The club has (singular) decided that they (plural) will not elect new members this fall.
Revised The club has (singular) decided that it (singular) will not elect new members this fall.
Confusing The crowd roared its (singular) approval, and then they (plural) broke broke up the meeting.
Revised The crowd roared its (singular) approval, and then it (singular) broke up the meeting.
Revised The crowd roared their (plural) approval, and then they (plural) broke up the meeting.